What was he thinking?
Judas betrayed Jesus for thirty silver coins; Jesus was condemned and crucified. But, is this everything the story has to offer?
Do you ever wish you could erase words once written, or retrieve words once spoken? Do you ever ask yourself- why did I say that? or why did I do that? I know that we can often get wrapped up in circumstances that we have no clue how we got stuck there in the first place. One day we wake up and realize that we trapped in an abyss of wrong choices, and we perhaps have no idea how to get out. Or perhaps we spend our entire lives climbing the ladder of success, only to find out in the end that we're leaning on the wrong wall.
I think that it would be interesting to have a psychological assessment performed on Judas. Unfortunately, we cannot possibly know what was really going through his head. Thirty silver coins may have appeared to be a lot of money, but how could a man sell out another man's life?
What we do know is this- "when Judas, who had betrayed Jesus, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse" (Mat. 27:3). BUT, why was Judas suddenly seized with remorse? Was he expecting a different outcome? He was finally a rich man; his success had won his heart's desire. What could have possibly seized him with remorse, guilt, and regret? What a nut case! Didn't Judas know that Jesus' enemies were conspiring to kill him? What else did he expect?
Perhaps he was expecting to get away with his actions. Perhaps he wasn't thinking. Perhaps he thought that he could erase his actions and blot out his scheme, if he really wanted to. Perhaps he didn't consider the ramifications and consequences of his choices. Perhaps he didn't care to.
Nevertheless, he tried to correct his bloody scheme by returning the silver coins to the religious leaders. He cried out to them, "I have sinned, for I have betrayed innocent blood." They indignantly rejected his plea, claiming that it was entirely his own responsibility. There was no room for forgiveness. No time for a quick remedy. Judas threw the money at their feet, ran out of the temple, and hanged himself. What a tragedy! What a loss!
Perhaps you have felt beyond redemption and forgiveness. Perhaps you have witnessed the evidence of a lifetime's deadly choices. Perhaps you have pleaded with those around you, claiming that you have sinned and caused harm. To whom did you turn?
Easter is a joyous time to remember to whom we can turn. It's never too late in life or in circumstances. The treacherous acts of Judas' betrayal may seem tragic, but they ultimately paid for our ability to receive Jesus' redemption. Judas had a choice to make in how to respond to his wrongful actions, and we have a choice also. So, what are you thinking? It's never too late to turn to Jesus! He will never reject your plea; He will never withdraw his forgiveness.